Anything But Those Shoes!
by couturexbones
Summary: Booth walks into the Jeffersonian one day...and sees Brennan wearing a pair of...Wouldn't you like to know? Click, read and find out! Lighthearted humour and fun. SquintsBooth. [oneshot]


**Hey there! Well, summer is over, and I'll be starting high school on Tuesday! Guess this is sort of a farewell summer fic, about a pair of shoes that I've been seeing everywhere these past few months. I don't think there has ever been a pair of shoes with such strong/valid opinions on both sides! A special thanks to Angel for beta-ing my little oneshot. Thanks Angel! **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: YES, I own them! I own every single character...not. But I've yet to come across a disclaimer claiming ownership, so I thought I'd make myself the first ;)**

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Seeley Booth walked through the Jeffersonian, spotted the platform, and scanned himself access. 

'Hey, Bones! Thought I might stop by and say hello to my favorite anthropologist. How are you, and what the hell are you wearing on your feet?'

'Hello Booth, I'm fine thanks, and excuse me?' She looked up from the pelvis she was examining and frowned.

'Those shoes. Everyone has them and they are hideous! '

Bones looked down at her purple Crocs. She looked up and glared at him. 'They are _comfortable_.'

'They are _ugly_'

Zack Addy, Doctor Brennan's assistant walked onto the platform, clad in a pair of Army Green crocs, paired with white socks.

Seeley groaned. _Oh lord...has everyone been affected by this?_

'Hello Agent Booth'

'Hello Zack' Booth cringed at his choice of footwear.

Zack looked almost shocked that Booth had responded to him, instead of ignoring him, as he usually did.

Brennan almost immediately said 'Zack tell him that Crocs are comfortable'

'Crocs are extremely comfortable, Agent Booth.' Zack obeyed.

Booth just rolled his eyes. 'All I'm saying is that they're hideous, and they shouldn't be worn by anybody, except toddlers. And people who are gardening. Hell, even if you have foot problems. But _never_ by anyone else. And in _public? _Nuh-uh ' Booth shook his head.

Angela walked up behind Seeley. 'Oh c'mon, G-man, they aren't that bad…'

Booth turned around and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Angela wearing a pair of stiletto boots. 'Please don't tell me that you have a pair…' Booth pleaded.

Angela clucked her tongue. 'Forty dollars for a pair of plastic clogs? I don't think so…'

'Not plastic or rubber! They are made from Croslite - a soft spongy foam resin that--' Zack chirped.

'Zack, just ignore them,' Brennan looked up and glared once again ', and get back to work, please'

'Sorry'

'Am I needed here?' Jack Hodgins asked as he came behind Angela, and gave her a peck on the cheek.

'Only if you can come up with a formula to destroy those shoes' Booth quipped.

'You mean Crocs? Bless you Booth. I hate them too. Zack has four pairs--'

'And counting' Zack interrupted.

Hodgins made a face and continued. 'Yesterday I tried to destroy his orange ones.' He shuddered 'Those butt ugly shoes might as well be made of stone. I tried pulling at the strap, stomping on them, biting them, stabbing them with a butter knife, throwing them against my wall…

'You did _what_ to them?!' Zack asked loudly, looking angry.

'Dude, chill. They are un-destroyable, damn them. I'm just tired of having to look at them…and in _my_ house no less. And you have them in such bright colors! Orange, and yellow, and lime green! Couldn't you just get a black, or a … I don't know, normal pair of shoes? That don't make my eyes bleed?'

Brennan exhaled sharply through her nose, put down the pelvis in her hands, and looked up, hands on her hips. In defense of Zack, she spoke loudly. 'You know what? I _like_ them! They are comfortable, and they come in all _sorts_ of pretty colors!' She aimed her last comment at Hodgins who just smirked. Brennan waggled her right foot forward to show the bright purple pair she had on. 'I'll wear them all I want! And I might even get another pair, for that matter.' She looked at her assistant. 'I was thinking about a nice cotton candy pink! What do you think Zack?' She asked sarcastically.

They were interrupted by a small footsteps running rapidly towards the platform. 'Daddy!' a little voice cried. It was Parker, who had stopped at the beginning of the platform. The child now knew better than to climb the stairs, having set off the alarm many times.

Booth, turned around, and clambered down the stairs. 'Hey, little man! You're here early! I was supposed to pick you up from your place' He picked up his son.

Rebecca walked to where they stood. 'Hello Seeley' she smiled. 'Sorry about coming so early. We did a bit of shopping, and Parker couldn't wait to see you, so I figured you would be here'

'We bought you something! A pair of shoes!' Parker jumped to the ground, ran over to his mother, and took the plastic shopping bag from her hands. It was then that realized Parker had a new pair on, himself.. A pair of yellow Crocs.

_Oh God, please no, please please please let them be a nice pair of Gucci dress shoes or something..._

'They're the same one that I have on! Only bigger!' Parker grinned and handed him the bag.

Brennan, Zack, Hodgins, Angela, all looked at him now grinning holding back.

'Er…Thanks Parker…'

'Go ahead and put them on Booth' Hodgins said his voice stiff with laughter.

'Yes, Agent Booth. Please do!' Zack said immediately. 'We can be shoes twins now' He gave Seeley an innocent smile.

Brennan just burst into laughter. She couldn't help adding ' They'll go perfect with your suit!'

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**Well, there you have it! Did you enjoy? Completely hate it? Let me know what you thought! Mr Purply Button feels like being clicked, and it's better if you make him happy. Yes, that was a threat :) Go...now!**

**Thanks again!**

**Love, Sarah**


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